Not All Wounds Are Loud: Subtle Signs of a Trauma Response

Let’s begin gently.Not all pain shouts.Not all trauma trembles in the open.

Sometimes, it hides in plain sight, in a nervous laugh, a too-wide smile, a habit of checking the exits before settling into a chair.And sometimes, it bursts through when you least expect it.

In a world that celebrates “resilience,” we’re often praised for holding it together. But healing doesn't live in the holding—it lives in the softening.

As someone who’s held space for hundreds of people in ceremony, in circle, in silence, and in song, I want to name something often left unspoken:

Trauma responses vary wildly between people.

Some cry.

Some rage.

Some shut down.

Some become the life of the party to avoid feeling like the ghost in the room.

So how do we know when someone (or ourselves) is navigating through trauma?

Here are a few "sign posts" worth noticing, not for judgment, but for compassion.

✦ Sudden Emotional Outbursts

Tears that catch them off guard. Snapping at a loved one over spilled tea. These aren’t just “mood swings”—they may be overflow from a nervous system that’s quietly saturated.

✦ Disproportionate Emotional Responses

A comment lands too heavily. A plan change sends someone spiralling. The emotion doesn’t match the moment—and that mismatch might be where the wound whispers.

✦ Verbal or Physical Aggression, or Withdrawal

Sometimes it looks like slamming a door.Sometimes it looks like cancelling plans over and over.Both are protectors—attempts to keep pain at bay.

✦ Shifts in Eating or Activity Levels

Overeating. Forgetting to eat. Suddenly exercising obsessively or abandoning movement altogether. Trauma often leaves the body in extremes, grasping or avoiding.

✦ Repetitive Behaviours or Fixations

Retelling the same story. Needing to control tiny details. Or... on the other side, complete avoidance of a topic that obviously carries weight. Trauma loops or shuts down.

✦ Hypervigilance

Scanning the room. Jumping at small sounds. Fidgeting endlessly. Always “on alert,” even in safe spaces. This isn’t being “dramatic”—it’s the body trying to keep us alive.

✦ Disconnection

Eyes on the floor. Forced smiles. Being “in the room” but not really in the room. Zoning out isn’t rudeness—it’s self-preservation when the present feels too sharp.

✦ Over-Questioning

Asking again and again, “Is that okay?” or “Are you sure?” Or going silent, unable to ask anything at all.Both ends of the spectrum can be a result of trauma’s erosion of inner trust.

✦ Relational Triggers

A sensitive reaction to “innocent” comments about family, identity, or boundaries. Recurring emotional spikes during group work or intimate chats. Trauma often speaks loudest through our relationships.

You Are Not Broken. Your Nervous System Just Needs a Gentle Reset.

Let’s rewrite this together.

If you’re recognising yourself here—or someone you love—know this:None of this makes you too much, too fragile, or too complicated.It just means your body remembers something your mind may have stored away.

And healing isn’t about forgetting the story. It is about finding new ways to live beyond it.

🌀 Come As You Are I’ll Meet You There

Whether it’s in a 1:1 session tailored to your healing journey, or during one of my immersive events or retreats where safety, softness, and transformation are central—you are so welcome here.

✨ Ready to explore?

Book a 1:1 session with me to begin.

🌿 Or join one of my upcoming wellness gatherings and reconnect with yourself in the company of kindred spirits.

Let’s honour your own journey...

Carla Carolina Watson is a mother, Somatic Therapist, Wellbeing Coach, Clinical Hypnotherapist, NLP Practitioner, Yoga & Breathwork Teacher and energy worker.

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